I took a little detour to see this waterfall. Totally worth it, amazing, beautiful, majestic.
Now, if I had been really smart, I would have taken my pack off prior to my little detour, as I was going to have to get back on the trail anyway. But I wasn’t really smart, I was really distracted by the sound of the waterfall and my deep desire to see the waterfall.
After the waterfall detour, I was thinking about my needs. I was thinking how, if others had been there instead of me being on my own, I might have passed that spot without stopping so I could stay with the those with me. I might have swept my own needs aside to fulfil the needs of others.
But, you know what, I don’t automatically need to do that. No one would have held me back, no one would have told me I should stay with everyone. I could stop, see what I wanted to see, and catch up down the trail.....or, you know, ask my people if they wanted to stop and enjoy the majesty of that waterfall.
I was thinking as I was walking, life doesn’t always have to be an either/or. I don’t think we always need to choose. There’s a way we can have a both/and situation in our lives. We can acknowledge our needs, acknowledge the needs of those around us, and fulfill both. Perhaps not all the time, but maybe more often than we think.
We can stop and see that waterfall.
May we, this week, see both the needs of ourselves and the needs of those around us as valid and worthy, and recognize we don’t always have to choose between them.
Have a wonderful weekend my dear friends, I am so very thankful for you!
As I write this, I am enjoying my coffee while sitting next to a beautiful stream. It’s morning and the sun is just starting to hit the tops of the trees. I took a picture for you, it’s my view right now. It’s magical. You’ll get this a couple of weeks late, unfortunately that’s not my view this particular Friday morning. As I sit here, steeling myself for the inevitable (really cold) barefoot stream crossing I must do when I get myself going for the day, I am aware of the fact that I am holding space for myself…...and it feels so deliciously good.
I was thinking a lot yesterday, as I walked my 11 miles. For part of my day I was contemplating my therapist. I have a therapist who I really love, and as I was walking yesterday I was trying to pinpoint exactly why.
She holds space so well. She shows up, she listens, but she doesn’t just listen, she really hears what you have to say. I feel safe and held and heard and seen and most importantly not judged in her presence…..and all through a computer screen. She is an amazing space holder. Now, don’t get me wrong, sessions are hard and I often leave feeling totally and completely emotionally exhausted…...and sometimes I just want to stick my head in the sand instead of being in session with her.
Back to my walk. I was thinking about how often we listen, but we’re not really listening…..we’re really thinking about the next thing we’re going to say. Now, granted, I am not under the impression that anyone is perfect in this area, and so I’m sure my therapist is also guilty of thinking over the speech of others in real life even though she excels at listening and hearing in the professional setting.
However, as I was walking, I couldn’t help but think how different life might look if we held space, if we showed up, if we really listened and heard and saw without judgement in our own every-day lives with the people in our homes, in our workplaces, who we pass on the street…..and with our own selves.
May we, this week, show up and listen a little more fully, with a little more intention and a little less judgement to both those around us and also with ourselves.
I hope you have an amazing weekend dear friends, I am so thankful for you.
I went backpacking by myself, completely alone.
I love backpacking. In the list of “Krista’s favorite activities”, it is up there in the top 5. I love putting my life on my back and walking in the woods all day long, and then setting that life up on the other side, and taking it down the next morning and starting all over again. There is literally no aspect of backpacking I don’t love, really, there isn’t (well, except really cold rain, I don’t love that). However, this is an activity I have always done with others, it has always been a family activity. We even have our backpacking routine going, I plan and get the food and divide it all up for everyone, my husband plans the route and gets the stuff out and all ready to go. We’re all in charge of our own clothes, so if you forget your jacket, buster, it’s on you. It is something I deeply enjoy doing with my family.
But this is an activity I love, beyond family time. And lately I’ve been realizing I want to take ownership of that activity. I want to know I can do this on my own. I want to be able to say that I backpack, not that I backpack…..so long as others are with me.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, I was. In all honesty, I wasn’t scared of bears or snakes or getting lost…….but being a woman alone in the woods…...I was nervous about other humans. There is a deep vulnerability there.
But I stood in that vulnerability, I looked it in the face, I packed my big knife in a reachable spot, and off I went. And it was exactly what I wanted it to be. I walked my own walk, I saw my own sites, I thought and I thought and I thought. It was the most amazing of weekends.
Would it have been the right decision of me if I had been paralized by fear all weekend? I think probably not. But looking at my nervousness, and recognizing that while my nerves were real and valid, I wouldn’t be paralized by them, and allowing myself to do the thing I was nervous about was the exact right thing for me this past weekend.
And it was such a beautiful weekend my dear friends. It was everything I’d hoped it could be.
May we, this week, see our nervousness. May we perhaps do something that might add beauty to our lives, but might also be out of our comfort zone. May we find our vulnerability and stare it down.
I am so deeply grateful for you my dear friends.
(And sorry Mom for not telling you I was going!)
I walked up that hill.
I was tired. It was the right call to make.
Lest you think I’m really good at practicing the things I preach, I’m not. I can talk a big game, I can say y’all should listen to the wisdom of your body and rest when you need to and take the things you need. And in my head I know I ought to do the same. But I’m not always great at giving myself permission to take the things I need to take, to rest when I really ought to rest.
Several weeks ago one of my students told me about her weekend. She said she had a really busy and tiring weekend. She was all signed up to do Total Body Fitness on Monday, and then heard my voice in her head and decided it was the right call to do Yin instead of TBF. It brought me so much joy to hear that, so much joy…...it also stung a little bit, because I had been feeling really tired from the weekend also, and got myself up at 6am to run instead of listening to my own body and staying in bed for an extra 30 minutes of sleep.
But getting it wrong is part of the journey also. We’ll never get to the place where we do the right thing by ourselves or others all the time. I’m pretty convinced we’ll never be able to live in a constant state of “practicing what we preach”. We’re all just muddling through this thing, we get it right sometimes and we get it wrong other times and we live and learn….and hopefully we give ourselves grace.
So cheers to living and learning dear friends, getting it wrong along the way, and giving ourselves and those around us grace .
I hope you have an amazing weekend dear friends. I am so very thankful for you!
Krista is a yoga and fitness instructor based in Washington DC. She has an online studio with all sorts of different class types!